The Sky ~ Mr Sky

Already 3am, and yet I still can’t sleep, so many things playing in my mind right now, no internet to use, so I might as well write some blog, it’s been a while since I last put feeling into writing, I look up the sky just now, once in a while I would look up into the sky, I smile, hope that he can see me smile, I lost sleep for few months already, I can’t sleep anymore. Lie down on my bed each night with the same music playing from Elva Hsiao but with my eyes open wide, I can’t concentrate in class anymore, if only I can jump down from the place I am now, things would be so much different but I know, I can’t ! I would, but I can’t! I spin myself around dancing while my roommate soundly asleep on the bed next to mine. Making sure I don’t make any sound and wake him up, spin myself around and around like how I would dance to my favorite music. I close my eyes but tears still drop down from my eyes. To me music is not just choir in MPH or jamming in Bonang. Music means much more than that. Music is not just life, it is much greater than life. Music is everything to me. He is the music of my life. If only they understand how I feel. Come lets dance, it’s been a while since I last dance. Dancing make me happy. My last dance was on stage 2 years ago and dance is the only thing that involves music I didn’t do with him. I can’t stop these tears from flowing down, but I can fake a smile, so smile coz tomorrow would be another day. A better one? Well let God decide, I have no say! Open my chest, look at my scars on my heart, it’s deeper then anything u ever seen, I try to sew it back with a needle and my bare hand. The blood blur my view, flowing out like river with tears like raindrop keep falling is the pain I can’t yell out loud but to hold it in for future to come. I hold up my pen, trying to write a song, but how can a lyricist rhymes without rhythm? A lyric won’t be complete without music. Already 100 days, there is no sound of guitar strumming in my house room, my apartment here seems to be quite without laughter. I take a last look at the sky, I smile with a hand on my chest, holding the wound that can never be cure, tears already wet my bed, good night my love! You have been part of me that I can never forget, the day you leave is the day I am paralyzed without your voice of good night singing me to sleep, I love you so much!

Written Date and Time: 3 October 2009, 3.33am
Posted Date and Time: 5 October 2009, 11.48pm
*Due to no internet access