Heart-Break Every Single Moment

I was about to turn off my laptop after sending my last blog just now and head to Upten for my lunch. All of a sudden there is a beeping sound from my MSN. I sit down again and look. Oh no ! is that girl again !! Why must she message me at time like this ? I slowly place my shivering hand on my laptop and reply her message, my heart beat rate shoot up that instant. I reply her message gently ... I mean gentlemanly … minding every single word that come out even though my heart feel like screaming at her and say “ Fuck you, go to hell “ but the principle of “HEAD n HEART” things that Miow Miow teach me kick in and comes to play. We chat for awhile. There were a few question and answer. For the first time after so many years … I finally talk to her in a honest way by tell her all the truth. Which I doubt ... should I do that ? She seems to handle our conversation very well as if nothing happened, but my heart crash like crazy inside, my blood at boiling point. Honestly I can’t do this anyway … the fact is ! There is no why in a million hell years I am able to forget what she has done to me but should I act cool each time she message just because she is over me already ? I don’t know what I should do ! She is really giving me a fucked up hell here .. how much I wish I can just shout out loudly saying “ Damn !! You Killed Me !!!! I am dead every single moment and it’s all because of you … but GOD !! Please … I still miss her !!! Just take her away ... or me away !! vanish me ... !“

Posted Date : 16 May 2009
Posted Time : 12.59pm
Location : COE Café Uniten